The Australian - If you looked longingly at the Chevrolet Corvette unveiled at Detroit motor show last week and wondered how long before you could buy one, then General Motors has an answer for you: "Not any time soon. Have a nice day."
It's one of many US vehicles Australians must admire from afar. We get more European brands than the US does, but there's an awful lot Americans can buy that simply isn't available here. This is despite a hefty overlap in vehicle tastes, especially when it comes to muscle cars and large pick-ups.
However, Australia is a right-hand drive country and the cars we lack are generally built only as left-hand drives. Even if a car has RHD engineered into its DNA - some do, some don't - there still needs to be enough global demand to cover replumbing and extra testing. Other large right-hand drive markets, such as Britain and Japan, need to come to the party.
With muscle cars and especially large pick-ups, the numbers seldom make sense. In Britain, Japan, and emerging RHD markets such as India and Indonesia, demand for such vehicles is tiny. There's an additional problem that in Britain and Japan, LHD vehicles are allowed. An enthusiast who wants a Corvette can live with the wheel on the wrong side.
For Australia, the irony reaches its zenith when the car in question was developed here. One example is the Chevrolet Camaro, which Holden engineered for its General Motors parent. If you want one, it's available as a conversion by one of the specialist outfits but costs many times what it would if imported as part of Holden's official remit. A similar situation is about to arise with the Chevy SS, which will be based on a Holden Commodore and shipped stateside after a reveal next month.
The Corvette, with its racy aluminium and carbon fibre construction powered by a 335kW V8, put the issue into the spotlight for the Australian media contingent when GM chairman Dan Akerson appeared to confirm the car would be built in RHD.
Within hours, the idea was hosed down by his lieutenants.
"We have not prepared a right-hand drive Corvette and have no plans to do it," GM's North American president Mark Reuss said.
But even he dangled the possibility that it could be made in future. Bringing Chevrolet to Australia is theoretically possible and Holden has played host to other brands within the GM stable - Saab and Hummer previously, now Opel.
However, don't hold your breath. Four years ago GM got to the brink of reintroducing Cadillac then pulled out at the last minute. That was at the height of the global financial crisis. Reuss, who was running Holden at the time, said the tough market meant it was unable to do justice to the Cadillac brand.
Its key model was the CTS, a well-received luxury sedan that was the first car in a revised line-up. Since then it has rolled out the smaller ATS, which takes aim at the challenging junior executive class epitomised by the BMW 3 Series.
With its focus on keeping weight down, modern four-cylinder and V6 engines, and new control interface, it's even better than CTS. North American journalists have been surprised and delighted that a Cadillac can mix it with the best, with a panel of 50 putting it ahead of the new 3 Series to name it North American Car of the Year at Detroit.
Reuss said the aim was to expand the Cadillac line-up and pitch directly against Audi, BMW and Mercedes to prove its mettle. That would take time, he said, so an Australian return was not in the timetable.
"Right now we do not have a portfolio to compete on a volume basis with those brands," Reuss explained. "Nor do we have the credibility."
If Cadillac is still assembling its forces for a global conquest, then Ford's luxury brand Lincoln is even further back. Its first goal is to reclaim its home turf from the Europeans and Japanese.
A mid-size SUV based on the Ford Kuga (Escape in the US), was one of the sharper designs at Detroit. The fact that our appetite for Lincoln is unlikely to be tested means we're missing out on the work of one of Australia's top designers, Max Wolff, who has the job of reshaping its look. The MKC is a convincing second step in that project.
In a scoop for the home teams, the second major award at Detroit went to the Ram 1500 as North American Truck/Utility of the Year. This category takes in everything from small crossovers, such as the Mazda CX-5, to the full-size pick-ups epitomised by the Ram.
Efficiency features previously limited to cars are moving quickly into these big utes now, with stop-start, electric power steering and cylinder deactivation to save fuel. Buyers are increasingly switching to advanced new V6s, many of which can pull as strongly as an old-school V8.
On the Ram 1500 an eight-speed automatic transmission is standard and air suspension is an option. The line-up starts just under $US24,000 ($22,800) with a 3.6-litre V6.
Ram is part of the Chrysler group and could be imported by the Fiat-Chrysler operation in Australia - if it came in RHD. For that, we will have to wait until the next generation but then Australia will have its hand up, local chief executive Clyde Campbell said.
When Ford imported F Series large pick-ups in the noughties - during a short run of RHD production in Brazil - it averaged almost 2000 buyers a year. And that was without the most popular variant, the F150.
Campbell believes the Ram could do similar numbers or better. Demand comes from resources companies at one end to people towing boats and horse floats at the other. The conversion companies find no shortage of buyers, even at the greatly magnified prices that involves.
US makers still dominate the North American pick-up market and competition between them is fierce. GM showed its next Silverado at Detroit and Ford put down a marker for its next F Series line-up with the Atlas concept. They are all heading the same way in terms of efficiency and would suit Australian buyers, if they ever came. This is also a segment that Jeep could enter, as shown by several previous concepts, such as the Gladiator from 2005. It would be based on the next generation of its hardcore Wrangler offroader, said Jeep boss Mike Manley.
"Historically Jeep has had pick-ups in its line-up and there are a number of fans looking for a Jeep pick-up," he said. "There would be enough volume around the world for a reasonable business case."
That could arrive in about three years. About the same time Jeep will unveil a small SUV based on a Fiat platform and a more upmarket seven-seater called the Wagoneer, the least likely of the three to be shipped Down Under.
The equation is even more difficult for another icon within the Chrysler group, the Viper. Now sold under Chrysler's specialist tuning badge SRT, it was almost killed off during the global financial crisis but has re-emerged with renewed venom. Under the bonnet is a 477kW 8.4-litre V10 but this unique throwback, something of a lucky charm for the Chrysler group, is not engineered for RHD and there a doubts that the next generation could run a V10 under stricter US fuel economy standards.
Honda showed a supercar at Detroit that represents the new breed: the latest version of its NSX. This is due to return to the line-up in 2015 with a hybrid powertrain and - if the show car is anything to go by - fabulous design.
You might wonder what it's doing on this list but, alas, it's being developed by Honda's American arm and there are doubts that it will be made RHD. It would be legal, but not ideal, even in Japan.
If subsidiaries of Japanese companies can ignore the home market for such a landmark car then there's little hope for Australia. All we can do is look at the postcards and wish we were there.
